Bing Blang Blaow (Dr. Seuss Style) video

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Bing Blang Blaow (Dr. Seuss Style)

Published: 2009/07/11 by jjroc99

Bing Blang Blaow in the style of Dr. Seuss Written by JimmyLegs Script... Sit down, pour a drink, I've a story to tell 'Bout a villain who plays Heads-Up 50 NL. I'd been crushing the game, Had a big winning session. Zigging and zagging With guile and aggression. Just fifteen more minutes 'Fore hitting the sack, When a new guy sat in, With a full fifty stack. We traded some pots But then I flopped three threes. A bet, raise and call Just as fast as you please. On the turn he snap-called The huge bet that I made, But then donk-shoved the river, Which had brought the third spade. I called and he showed down A flush, seven-high, And then raked in the chips. Just keep chasing, thought I. Then shrugged and reloaded - I'm used to hard knocks. But thats when these words Popped up in the chat box: MY NAME IS CH3CKRAISE AND I SAY BING BLANG BLAOW! I JUST TOOK YOUR MONEY I TOOK IT, AND HOW! COULD HAVE USED IT FOR FOOD BUT NOW I'VE GOT YOUR FIDDY! THINK ILL CASH IT AND RUB- RUB-RUB-RUB ON MY T1TTY! My jaw hit the ground. I bit off a retort. No need to trade barbs With this douchey poor sport. I'd get it all back Plus more with no guilt. Takes more than one beat To put this pro on tilt. Didn't have to wait long Made a big overbet But top pair no good This time HE had the set. MY NAME IS CH3CKRAISE AND I SAY BING BLANG BLAOW! IT LOOKS LIKE I'VE FOUND A PERSONAL CASH COW! YOU THINK I'M A DONKEY, YOU THINK I'M A NOOB. BUT WITH TWO FIDDY DOLLARS, I'VE GOT ONE FOR EACH BOOB! Did he really say that? Was this some kind of joke? Thats one more full buy-in To go up in smoke! No worries, he'd find out With whom hed been messin'. Twas time to dig in, Teach this A-hole a lesson! I asked him to open One more table or two. Cant lose since hes playing 81 / 62! In ten minutes things Went from awful to worst And another three buy-ins Had followed the first. Who was this fool, This lunatic punk? Was he cheating somehow? Was he high? Was he drunk? My suited Ace-Queen, Got run down by Ace-Deuce. Had to listen again To his verbal abuse. Gnashing my teeth, I tried to ignore The bile coming from This delusional whore. But my bluffs got picked off, And my traps went unsprung. Until finally I just Could not hold my tongue. So far I'd played nice, Remained civil til now. But I'd had quite enough Of his dumb BING BLANG BLAOW! You $%@#-sucking *and^#! Your mothers a %@and! I'll find you - I'll cut you For your little stunt! My fingers were shaking. I typed out more curses. But he only responded With those juvenile verses: MY NAME IS CH3CKRAISE, AND I SAY BING BLANG BLAOW! GOT ENOUGH OF YOUR DOUGH FOR A HOOKER BY NOW! REQUEST FOR THE CASH, A QUICK TRIP TO THE BANK, AND THEN I'LL BE BANGIN' TANISHA THE SKANK! My descent into madness Then got out of hand. By the time it was dawn I'd lost more than a grand. He finally quit, And I staggered to bed. But no sleep did I get With that song in my head. An entire months profits - Flushed down the tube! Or rather, got rubbed On this maniac's boob. Let this be a lesson, Dont play in a haze. Control your emotions And avoid the Ch3ckraise.